Alone | Dear Diary - Episode 3

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I pull myself back
Back from calling
Calling friends, now strangers
Strangers who talk
Talk so that I listen
Listen because I believe
Believe that if I share
Shared my life
Life stories and things
Things to which I cling
Cling to them tight
Tight to my chest
In my chest I hold
Hold close
So close that they run
Run away from being
Being friends to strangers
Strangers who talk
no more.

I am alone.

Gripped am I in fear
Fear that time
Time will tell
Tell my tale
Tale that I live
I live like that
That I am exactly
Exactly what I look
I look like I could
Could I do that
That I surely must
Must be because I am

I am alone

Or, am I lonely?

In the darkness of seclusion
Seclusion I call privacy
Privacy that is haunting
Haunting me to panic
Panic that I can never
Ever see myself
See myself hand in
Hand with someone
Someone who is
Is publicly private
With me.

I am lonely.

Or, am I trapped?

I am brave
Brave as I chant
Chant in rote
Wrote my epitaph
Epitaph of my past
Past as it unfurls
Unfurls in light
Light I can see through it
It is not dark anymore
Anymore I can turn
Turn to find

I am alone.

Alone in love.

I saw your eyes
Eyes so scared
Scared of something
Something not someone
Something I couldn't see but
But I understood
Understood you needed
Needed to hold hands
with me.

Breathless and shivering
Shivering and gripping
Gripping and shutting
Shutting your eyes
Eyes though unafraid to turn
Turn strangers to friends
Friends in darkness you murmur
Darkness echoes
Echoes back your words.
I am not alone.


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