Thinking Thoughts

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I used to live in America in a time when being Indian, acting Indian, looking Indian, hell even eating Indian was considered uncool. Oh so uncool. But I recently went back for a family wedding, and lo and behold, everything Indian is suddenly uber cool. #notnativeamerican

Let me count the ways.

1.     I walked into a health café/boutique and was deciding what to order when I came across Turmeric Latte. Girl please. It’s called Haldi dhood and it’s been around for centuries. I know how good turmeric is for me, thank you very much. My aunt has been cramming it down my throat for years. Ms. Paltrow just sent out a Goop newsletter with it

Update: I just came across this article extolling the virtues of Golden Milk. Want the vegan version? Recipe here.

2.     I walked into Sephora and I was accosted by a whole section extoling the benefits of coconut oil. Rub it on skin, wipe make-up off with it, moisturize with it, clean your teeth with it, even use it as perfume.  I nodded politely to the sales associate, ‘Yes I am aware it’s amazing for my hair. Thank you, but no I won’t pay $70 for a bottle of coconut oil.  We call it Parachute and it’s Rs.100. No I don’t want it, even if it is extra virgin and cold pressed.’  I wonder what she would have done if I told her that the Keralites cook with it. I don’t think she could have handled the excitement. I saved that girl. Praise be to the lord.


PS- Chrissy Teigan is apparently all about it too now

pic credit: Usweekly

3.     I followed my mom into Sur La Table and came across a mango cutter. I was trying to figure out how the big Indian stones at the center of the mango would fit into the cutter when the – to his credit- friendly manager came over, ‘OMG,  I use that all the time to cut mangoes. Have you ever had one? And you can juice it using a Vitamix, it’s on sale right now by the way, and make something called a lassi. They are so. good.’ It took every cent of the money my father paid in 3rd grade for etiquette classes to not roll my eyes at him. I resorted to smiling and wandering over to the knives. He got the hint.  

Don't mess with people who sit on knives to cut.

4.     I was hanging out with my sister watching E News when they ran a story about how Kourtney Kardashian is now cooking with this really cool thing called... wait for it... ghee. It’s apparently clarified butter and it’s sooo good for you. It’s like totally cleansing and like so pure. Someone call our little Lord Krishna and tell him what’s up. 

Here's a little ghee lesson for you. 

This is how ghee was originally made. 

Not like this.

5.     Zara is doing these really cute off the shoulder tunics that I wanted to get my little Indian hands on before I came back. I walk in and an hour later I walk out with the cutest little clutch with Kutch embroidery, a tote with Kutch mirrors and a little embroidered Kutch work jacket that are all made… in… India. I am now ready for my trip to Gujarat.

We even supermodel pose better.  Can you even begin to beat that resting bitch face?

6.     Don’t even get me started on yoga. You can’t take yoga, put it in a hot steaming room to make you sweat and call it something else. You haven’t changed anything. That’s what doing yoga in India is like. Om.

My kind of guy. My kind of yoga. 


7.     One show. The Big Bang Theory.
8.     One man. Aziz Ansari.
9.     One woman. Mindy Kaling.
10.  One movie star. Priyanka Chopra.

I know I sound annoyed. I’m not. I just act sassy. It’s a birth defect.

 I actually got excited when I saw all those things. I’m happy India and Indians have made such wonderful forays into assimilating into the international landscape. It’s taken a lot of blood, sweat and make-up to get to this point.  We are finally being recognized and being given the recognition that we have always deserved. We’re cool now.

Hold on. I take it back. I am annoyed. I’m suddenly cool in a country I no longer live in. #irony #fashionablylatetotheparty

  I wish this had happened 15 years ago when I went to school with coconut oil in my hair and my mom would give me idli’s for lunch and I would always be an Indian princess for Halloween. 

'Omg, you're Jasmine agaaaain?!' 

No you idiot. I'm Indian, not Arabian. 


I woulda been so much cooler in school.