Sartorial Schizophrenia: The Oscars 2017

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FML.
No seriously. FML.

You know how all anyone can talk about today is the Oscars and that inconsequential part at the end when they gave the Best Picture Oscar to the wrong movie?



Literally. I don't.
I left the room for a hot second after Warren and Faye announced the winner to change for dinner.


Seriously. It's all my fault. I didn't have to look cute for sushi night. I already married the guy. #humph #madathabibi

I patiently sat through Best Sound Editing and Best Sound Mixing and Best Choreography. Didn't even budge from my seat through Best Animated Feature Film or Best Documentary or Best Foreign Language Film. I politely clapped at the TV screen and awed during the tears and speeches.

I PUT IN MY TIME DAMN IT.


#sigh
#smh
#alwaysnextyeariguess

Every cloud has a silver lining though. At least I didn't miss the Red Carpet, which to be honest, is actually my favourite part of the whole event.

Giving the Oscars its due, everyone dressed the part.  Not too skimpy or skanky, elegant, high ruffled necks, belts, headbands and colorful eyes were the way to go this award season.

It's funny though, my favourite outfits of the night were from the after-parties. #duh #therealpartyistheafterparty

To switch things up on the blog, lets start from there.


BOOM. The women came out to play! And how!

Ok. Focus. Back to the Oscars.

We had the usual Blacks, Whites, and Metallics. 



Salma Hayek forgot to change out of her nightie after hair and make-up. 
Alicia Vikander forgot to take her hair down after she fell asleep in the tanning booth. 


I was watching the Red Carpet on E news and someone said Chrissy Teigan looked like the mother of the bride. Now that I've heard that, I can't unhear it which means I can't get it out of my head. Also - now that I've seen her and heard that - it's so true. 

I wanna show you something though.
Here is Amy Adams.


And here she is again.


It's the same dress though folks! #socool

Let's quickly talk about Dakota Johnson.


I get it. High Fashion, staying true to the look, seeing it through, etc etc... I get it. I don't like it though. Between the rumpled satin at the bottom, the monotone look from head to toe, the hair that is confused - am I done or not done,  the napkin she forgot to untuck from her belt after eating.. none of it. I get it. But I don't like it.


Next I will show you two sets of twins. One set are Identical and one set are Fraternal.



Guess which set is which.



Then we have the whimsy's. 

The top part of her dress is unfortunate. It really makes it look like her boobs are down to there and hanging over her belt. Now that you've read it, look at Scarlett again. #sorrynotsorry 


Ugh. Eat something for crying out loud Guiliana. 



I know I already put her in the white section, but come on you guys. Can't.Even.Handle.

Hands down one of my favorite looks of the night. Scroll back up to see what she wore to the after party. She killed it then too.


Here's another favourite.


#LOVE #THATCOLOR #ANDTHATLIP

You know who else brought their A- game.



Here is my reaction when I saw Priyanka Chopra's look:

And not in the good way...


No. Just no.

Hair and Make-up AND JEWELLERY!




India's very own Nirav Modi had pieces adorning two magnificent women: 



~Rumi 

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