The Movie Review You've Been Waiting For: Fifty Shades of Grey and Fifty Shades Darker

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Fifty Shades of Grey
Rumi Rating: .75/5

You are getting two movie reviews in one because otherwise this review would be done by now.
I was taught that if I didn't have anything nice to say then to not say anything at all. So I won't say anything.
I will tell you this - the .75 rating was for three things:
1. .25 for the Audi R8 that gets driven around

2. .25 for the soundtrack (actually I loved it but I refuse to give the movie a higher rating)

3. .25 for Dakota Johnson because damn it the poor girl tried.

Special mention for the De Gournay Wallpaper in her bedroom :

Here's the trailer if you need to assuage your curiosity:

Even though I hated the first one, I of course had to watch the second. Partly because I rented both the movies together, but mostly because I was curious and had to see it through.

Fifty Shades Darker 

Rumi Rating: 1/5

They managed to do a little better this time around. Not drastically but enough that I was compelled to give them a 1 star.

Here's how it broke down:

1. .25 for Dakota Johnson, her hair and her lipsticks

Apparently i'm not the only one that thought so.

2. .25 for that proposal scene

3. .25 for that ring you just saw

4. .25 for the soundtrack ( again - LOVED)

Here's the trailer:

Such a disappointment for fans who read the books and were excited to see it on the big screen. Nothing from the book translated well onto celluloid, sigh sigh sigh. Bad choice of casting, editing, acting, dialogue.. .basically everything but what I gave them stars for. I could go on, but I won't.
Of course i'll watch the 3rd movie but not with any sort of enthusiasm or excitement.

What a shame.

*didn't even learn anything new for the bedroom.. grumble grumble 




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